Monthly Archives: June 2013

Best Jokes By Finesse Mitchell

Finesse Mitchell is one of those comedians who have had a funny life or you can say that they make it sound funny. It is mostly because of his keen observation of events across him and giving them a hilarious twist to make the crowd roll in their seats. There are a few stand up comedy videos of Finesse Mitchell on YouTube, but to get a taste of his real material, you’d have to rely on his jokes. So enjoy!

FGinesse

The Younger The Mama

My mom had me when she was 15, so I know the younger the mama, the more jacked up your name will be.

Gangster Girlfriend

Baby, I’m on my way home, but I’m in front of a 7-Eleven right now. I’m about to rob it. You want a Slurpee or something?’ I’m like, ‘Yeah, and a honey bun. Be careful.’

Visiting New York City

You can talk slow when you come up here, you can eat slow when you come up here, but please do not walk slow. Do not walk slow in New York City.

You Ever Been So Drunk…?

You ever been so drunk, you got pulled over by a cop, and before he could get out of his car, you just got out of your car and went and sat in the back of his car? ‘Oh my God! How did you know? I’m so glad you came to get me. Sir, I was about to kill a whole bunch of people, I promise you.’

Hurrying Up Your Girl

You want to say something real thuggish, but sexy at the same time. Alright? So this is what you do: take her by the neck, the neck area — just squeeze a little bit and say something like, ‘Girl, you so fine and sexy. You know you making us late. Now, hurry up. And I swear to God, if you ever leave me, I’ll f**king kill you.’ And then walk out of the bathroom.

Revolving Doors In New York City

Sometimes, I’m scared to come out of my house. I’m right down there on 42nd, and I got one of those revolving doors, and I see people walking so fast. I don’t walk that fast. And I’ll just be standing in the doorway, like a little girl, just watching people. Then I see a little opening come, so it’s like Double Dutch; I get excited.

Embarrassing Purchase

I bought a plunger the other day. You ever bought a plunger? It’s an embarrassing purchase. At first, you think it’s no big deal. Stand in the line, swinging it. And then you realize everybody knows; you got a situation at home. Nobody buys a plunger on a whim.

How Not To Suck At Stand Up Comedy

If you have ever tried to make a crowd laugh, even if a little one, but failed terribly, then you need to get back to your drawing board and figure out where you went wrong. This article is supposed to be a resource for people who want to become comedians or stand up comedians, so if you know someone who is struggling to get into stand up comedy, then share this article with him/her.

Your Material

Picking the right material is extremely important, especially if you are performing somewhere other than a comedy club. Comedy clubs usually have no restrictions on the material you present on the stage, but just to be sure, check with the club beforehand about this. If you are performing at a party, a gathering, or a wedding, make sure to choose your material which is appropriate not only for the age group, but also for the occasion as well.

Your Preparation

Are you sure you are up to become a stand up comedian? This is one of those questions that you should be able to answer with Yes every day. This is because; comedians need a lot of practice to prepare for an event. Even before you go on the stage for the first time, it is important to prepare yourself and cover all bases. The two best ways to prepare yourself to become a comedian is to; 1, perform on a stage and see how the crowd reacts to your jokes, 2, learn from your mistakes and see how other comedians perform by watching stand up comedy videos. You can go about these steps the way you want to, but the point is that whether you watch stand up comedy videos before performing or after performing, the result will only be a little bit different. But the best thing to do is to learn from stand up comedy videos, perform, and then watch stand up comedy videos again to find solutions to the mistakes you made on stage.

Get As Much Practice As You Can

Perform on every stand up comedy stage you can because the more you perform, the more mistakes you will find in your and with these mistakes, you will find more opportunities to perfect your act and develop yourself into a great stand up comedian. Performing not only helps you perfect your act, but it also helps you create better material according to the crowd you are performing in front of. Furthermore, you will also learn your strengths and weaknesses as a stand up comedian.

So these are the few things that you need to keep in mind in order to not suck at stand up comedy.

TJ Miller’s Stand Up Comedy Videos

Most of you might know TJ Miller from the movie “She’s Out of My League,” in which he played the best friend of Kirk (Jay Baruchel), but TJ Miller’s been into comedy and other stuff for more than a few years now. Stand up comedy is where TJ Miller started from and moved to other fields from there. However, he still works as a stand up comedian most of the time and when he’s not working as an actor. You can watch tons of stand up comedy videos of TJ, but here are five of the best stand up videos by TJ Miller to get you started.

Proceeding Hairline

Making jokes out of thin hair…oh sorry, I meant Air! TJ Miller jokes about proceeding hairline and tells about how it would be really creepy if his or anyone else’s hair line starts proceeding to their face when they are not noticing it. It is a really funny stand up comedy video by TJ Miller so watch it to find out what else TJ jokes about.

The Kevin Nealon Show – TJ Miller – TSA

Ever been to an airport? Well, TJ’s been there too and he did not liked how TSA’s treat him. Especially when they are old and think that they are police officers, trying to force you to do what is not really necessary or does not causes any problems. Watch this stand up comedy video and you will never view an airport the same way again.

Erryday

Ever came across strange alcoholics? Not exactly strange alcoholics, but just people with strange drinking habits, like drinking champagne every day. TJ talks about such people in his funny stand up comedy video, called Erryday. Watch and Enjoy!

Haunted House

TJ describes his attempt to get into a Haunted House on Halloween with his friends, but couldn’t because the person standing there, was not just a bit mean, but also a bit too tight on the rules as well. Watch and find out how TJ dealt with the situation and how he found humor in it. Wait…did I tell you that he didn’t had any ID, that’s why the Haunted House manager didn’t let him in?

The Benson Interruption – T.J. Miller

Most of you would remember the show called “The Benson Interruption” where Dough Benson used to interrupt other comedians during their performance and make things more funny. On this show, TJ Miller was being interrupted by Benson and it was a really funny routine that ended with sharing funny tweets. So, enjoy this stand up comedy video featuring TJ Miller and Dough Benson.

Watch More Tj Miller’s Stand Up Comedy Videos

Jokes By Dane Cook

No matter how many times we hear a Dane Cook joke, it is always funny. So, I searched around to look for some of the best jokes by Dane Cook, which people rarely see around. So, here we go!

Monopoly

We had Monopoly, everybody did. No one liked it. Even if you think you liked the game you didn’t. And it’s simple why, two and a half hours into a game this is all you’d hear… [boom] Fuck this game! It’s four in the morning grandma, you win! I’m sitting on Baltic with crack. I’m paying luxury tax up the ass! And I hate it when you’re the banker. Where did you get the pink fifties from your cheating whore. Don’t fucking touch me grandpa! Nana, is a cheating whore! I should cut your head off with the little doggie. We were so poor growing up, that little iron, we had to use that little iron. It’s not funny. Takes a long time to iron a shirt with that tiny little iron. Sss. Oww. Sss. Ooo hot.

English: Comedian Dane Cook makes a comedic po...

Source: Wikipedia

Public Restrooms

I had to use a public restroom today. Isn’t that the worst when you have to, god damb it! Why when you walk into a public restroom why is everything fucking wet? There’s puddles, waters all over the counter, it’s dripping it’s like being in a fucking cave. What happen was there like a shaggy dog in there after a bath? And god fabid you have to use the stall you go in there, you sit down, you try to close the door, which apparently Van-Damme kicked in. Why are they all broken? Who’s running in the bathroom like “I gotta shit… I can’t shit with the door in front of me! Fucking door! I don’t like being in a perfect square when I’m trying to shit!”

US Air Force 080530-F-9876D-538 American comic...

Source: Wikipedia

Yelling at the Drive-Thru

Why do people insist on yelling at the drive-thru? You know, it’s modern technology. I’d be there with my little headset, ‘Hi, welcome to Burger King, may I take your order?’ ‘GROBGROWGROBGBONEONIONONEFRY.’ ‘Excuse me, Chewbacca? I’m bleeding from the ears here, Pacino. Let’s calm down, alright? We’re dealing with food here, not missiles, governor. Now drive around!’

Car Accident

I’m a little sore ’cause a couple of days back I got into a car accident — not my fault. Even if it’s not your fault, the other person gets out of their car and looks at you like it’s your fault. ‘Why did you stop at a red light and let me hit you doing 80?!’

What An Autobiography Really Is

I can’t relate to the idea of suicide. I guess I’m just one of those people that is always optimistic and upbeat. But one day, I sat down. I said ‘You know what? Just to kind of purge myself, I want to see what its like to feel that low’. So I decided to write a suicide note. Yeah, just to kinda flush it out there and put it on a page. And I started to do this, and I had an epiphany. I’ll share this with you: a suicide note that is written by somebody that is not suicidal is called an autobiography. I am on Chapter 58.

The Best of Dane Cook Stand-Up Comedy Videos

There are a ton of stand-up comedy videos that you can watch on the internet these days, but Dane Cook’s videos are just a lot funnier than others. I’m saying this because I’m a huge fan of this guy, which is why I decided to compile a few jokes of his and share them with people who are just getting to know him or want to have a good a time. So here we go, with the best of Dane Cook stand-up comedy videos.

Bensons Animal Farm

Bensons Animal Farm joke is the opening joke of Dane’s show in Madison Square Garden NY, right after he cracked everyone up by saying, “someone shit on the coats!” Not many would understand this joke, but there’s a history behind it. Anyway, without further ado, let’s enjoy the video Bensons Animal Farm.


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Sneezing Atheist
Dane Cook fans might have watched this clip more than a dozen times already, but still it’s a great video to watch one more time. If you have never seen this joke, then it is about time someone opened your eyes to something extremely funny.


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A Really Old Comedy Video of Dane Cook

I’m not really sure where this came from or where it was performed, but it is one of those videos where you can see Dane’s spikey hair, Polo T-shirt, and realize he’s really young, probably in his early 20’s and very energetic as always. The quality of his jokes is pretty basic, I mean he’s sticking to jokes instead of telling stories. All in all, it is one of the best comedy videos of him that you’ll ever come across. And if you find more of such videos of Dane Cook, then please do share them with me.


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